Time to Say Goodbye | The Food Party! | Laura Stec | Mountain View Online |


Local Blogs

By Laura Stec

Time to Say Goodbye

Uploaded: Sep 7, 2017

You Dirty Little Thing.

We’ve been together for so long. I remember when we first met, right out of college. Oh the memories…and all those events…. just me and you alone together in the kitchen. How will I ever live without you?

Remember all those times you were really, really dirty, and I’d microwave or put you through the dishwasher? This will clean you up, I thought. Make it better for both of us. But hah - finally I’ve learned – nothing ever helps.

Dirtier. Little. Thing.

Blame the Germans – they're the ones who finally made me see you for what you are - a very complex being, always on the lookout for “opportunistic pathogens” to move in and fulfill your every reproduction desire. Well go ahead then. Be fruitful and multiply. See if I care any more.

In a January Food Party!, we discussed the value of cleaning our kitchen sponge by microwaving 1-2 minutes. But the German Institute of Applied Microbiology just released new studies showing that “sanitizing” with microwave or dishwasher just selects for the most resistant bacteria. And if you regularly sanitize the same sponge, the germs may even get worse.

So if you still choose to use, word up in Germany is replace dein schwamm every 10 days.

But for me… and you? I can’t keep throwing you out over and over again. There’s no good way to say this … I am really bad at it, and have next to no (ie zero) experience with this ..but we are finished… done. We can’t stay together because, well… I just need more…. uh…. more monogamy in a relationship.

I’m leaving you for the dishtowel.

There, I said it.

Good riddance.

- photo by LL