By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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I came across this wonderful list
of things you get to do to feel better about yourself. They’re from Dr.Rick Hanson, who is a psychologist, Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley and New York Times best-selling author. His books include Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Buddha’s Brain, Just One Thing, and Mother Nurture. Rick is the founder of the Wellspring Institute for Neurocience and Contemplative Wisdom.
If you follow these tips daily your personal sense of self will improve, your relationship or marriage will improve, your relationship with your kids, co-workers and friends will also be better. It takes at least a month to create habits so do this every day for a month and let me know how your life has changed. Rick’s tips are the types of things addressed in therapy.
Here’s the top level of the first 10 of the 21 (read the rest and the details here
1. Do the right thing.
2. Tend to the causes of accomplishment.
4. Do things that ground you increasingly in a sense of your own beingness . . .
5. Relax “self”.
6. Accept yourself as you are.
7. Accept where you are in the four natural, unavoidable stages of learning and getting better at anything.
8. Serve the world.
9. Exercise your capacities.
10. Reflect on your accomplishments and good qualities each day.
Here’s to your increased happiness. Let it be a pebble in a pond, spreading kindness to yourself and those you encounter in any setting.