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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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A Hard Road

Uploaded: Aug 10, 2017
I want to share an excerpt from another new book of mine: A Hard Road It's a story of cancer survival for patients and caregivers.We hope it will help you as you travel your own hard roads.

Locke was diagnosed with tonsil cancer that had spread to lymph nodes in his neck.. We had an amazing community of people--near and far--who helped, loved, prayed, and supported us. That's what's needed to go through this journey.

Here's a short section recently written by Locke:

A Few Words on Fear

During cancer treatment in 2011, I was rarely conscious of my own fear. Pain and misery, yes. Fear, no. As you read, you will notice very little content about fear or death. I genuinely don’t recall stuffing or denying fear at the time we walked the hard road.

It turned out that a reservoir of fear had been with me all along, however, as I had a revealing experience, five years post-treatment.

One part of the hard road was the stretch of Highway 101 between our house and the Oyster Point Cancer Treatment Center. I made this round trip at least 50 times that winter.
At the same time, there was constructed a concrete pedestrian/bike bridge over the freeway in San Carlos, which became a touchstone for me as I made my way. It came to symbolize my own travails.

The image was then, and is now, striking. The workers built the form work, which reached out from each side of the roadway, arching out over the void and over very real peril below. Amazing faith and belief! “We will connect!” And it was so. And I was cured.

Over the ensuing five years, I occasionally had the impulse to walk or bike over the bridge. Chandrama and I went back there in 2016 to cross that span. Getting out of the car, I said out loud, “I think this might be a THING!”

With scarcely any other warning, as I took my steps up the incline, I was seized with a visceral, wracking fear which increased as we walked . . . At the apex of the crossing, I cried out in terror, “I was so scared! I was so fucking scared!” Over and over, wailing and shaking . . . holding desperately to Chandrama. She didn’t tell me at the time, but she feared I would crack her ribs.

This PTSD-like experience is a reminder to me that there was, indeed, a great deal of fear involved.

Comments

 +   2 people like this
Posted by ElaineB, a resident of Duveneck/St. Francis,
on Aug 10, 2017 at 5:25 pm

ElaineB is a registered user.

Beautiful story. Brings up tears.


 +  Like this comment
Posted by rephac, a resident of Community Center,
on Aug 11, 2017 at 12:06 pm

rephac is a registered user.

Find out if your spouse is cheating. Hack any mobile phone (with access or remotely). Hack any website/database.


 +   1 person likes this
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on Aug 11, 2017 at 1:01 pm

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

Funny you suggest hacking your beloved's devices to find out if s/he's cheating. This is actually a good way to get in hot water in your relationship. You need to trust each other, but more importantly, being faithful is a choice YOU make every day and night.


 +   2 people like this
Posted by Curmudgeon, a resident of Downtown North,
on Aug 12, 2017 at 6:05 pm

Curmudgeon is a registered user.

Your response to rephac is spot on.

If rephac is a person. I believe rephac is a not too competent phisherbot. It should have included a web link to support its nefarious message, but its author (thankfully) goofed up. Recommendation: delete it with glee.


Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

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