By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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To all you moms out there, Happy Mother’s Day.
Husbands: Help your kids do something nice for their mom, and you do something for yours. Even though you have a wife, she’s not your mom. So don’t forget her.
If you’re a mom that focuses all your energy on your kids and not your husband, I seriously recommend you make him your top priority, with your kids a very close second. You two having a strong relationship provides the roof over the heads of your kids. If you need help, get it.
If you’ve had a child die, you’re still a mom, whether or not you have any other children.
Adoptive moms are moms. Informally adopted moms are moms, too.
If you have a difficult mom, figure out whether you want to, and what you may be able to do to improve that relationship. Family therapy may be a good idea.
If you are a difficult mom—and you may or may not think you are since you always behave like this—take action to improve your relationship with your kids, whether they’re minors or adults.
My mom and dear Grandma died in 2003. The mom of my heart died in 2015. They are still moms to me and always will be.
My son is turning 21 in less than a month, and my daughter died in 1998. I love being their mom.
Regardless of your mom status, Happy Mother’s Day. Remember, it’s about a lot more than flowers and chocolate. It’s about the relationship.