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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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My Best Tip for Your Marriage

Uploaded: Dec 30, 2015
Take care of your relationship.

I realize that sounds simplistic, but it’s not. Love is created by many small acts, and grows.

Many of the couples we see at Connect2 Marriage Counseling didn’t address issues or concerns early on. Patterns were created that didn’t serve them as a couple.

It’s so easy for that to happen. We go along with our day-to-day lives, and something bothers us, but we overlook it because it doesn’t seem to be a big deal.

Eventually, many of these small deals turn into big deals, and now we don’t know how to talk about it because we are resentful. It is much easier to resolve issues while they are malleable and easier to talk about.

If you are feeling or behaving in any of the following ways, please take care of your relationship NOW:

- Lacking connection

- Loss of intimacy (defined as closeness as well as sex)

- Poor communication

- Criticism

- Defensiveness

- Contempt

- Stonewalling (shutting out your beloved)

- Emotional or physical betrayal

- Your partner doesn’t have your back

- Not seeking comfort

- Home is no longer a haven that gives you strength in the world

- Not giving each other support and empathy

- Don’t feel seen or heard

- Fighting

- Misunderstood





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