By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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Uploaded: Jul 11, 2014
I have been trying to rescue a kitten from my yard this week. It reminds me of couples wanting love and connection from one another, and yet not able to quite get it.
The kitten, whom I have taken to calling Buster, is coming in closer, rolling and squirming on his back, and generally being so cute that I will continue to woo him.
Yet, so far, he won't come in. His plaintive cries for food and his hunger is so evocative. He wants it so
much. Touch. Love. Contact. Safety. Nurturing.
Just like us. We want love and connection, too, even desperately at times. And we won't or can't let ourselves have them, whether our partner is next to us on the couch, in bed, in the car, or someone we see at a short distance (or online).
So this week, I recommend that you let yourself be "rescued," just like this kitten needs. And rescuer: be kind and nurturing.
What is it worth to you?
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