By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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I really do. My lovely MIL is at the tail end of treatment; I'm her advocate with the docs and nurses and insurance company. My husband is a survivor, too, and the memories of his treatment and recovery are easily triggered. Friends and clients, my sister's beloved when they were 16, a courageous young woman . . .
People say cancer can teach us what's important in life and change our focus or direction. F*** that! Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't, but it still sucks.
My grandma, Anne, her sister, Libby, and my mom all had breast cancer ? and survived it. My mom finally succumbed to lung cancer in 2003. My grandma lived to 90, and died of old age, and Libby just turned 98! A friend's spouse beat the 1% odds of survival. So I know cancer doesn't take every person it hits.
As I'm writing this, I hear my anger and frustration. I hate for people to suffer. And they do. The patients suffer, along with their caregivers, and loved ones.
Cancer is this greedy, invisible, invading scourge. Ugh.
AND, I mostly see in people that have cancer and those who are caring for them: grace, a "Let's take care of this" attitude, an occasional snit, strength and fortitude.
Love well, live well, and get check-ups.
Gotta go, I need to schedule my annual mammogram.