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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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"The Purpose of Sex"

Uploaded: May 9, 2014
Ashley Judd, in her memoir, wrote that Archbishop Desmond Tutu told her that the purpose of sex between married couples is "as an instrument of love and expression, a way to become more God-like."

Let's propose what we think the purpose of sex is . . .


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Posted by parent, a resident of Community Center,
on May 13, 2014 at 6:09 pm

So unmarried people are incapable of love? I wonder what the Archbishop would have said if the white supremacists had outlawed marriage by non-white people.

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Posted by June, a resident of Midtown,
on May 13, 2014 at 9:03 pm

Good sex is playful sex, nothing to do with god, unless that is your deep belief system. Desmond Tutu reflects his own very conservative beliefs.

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Posted by hermia, a resident of Triple El,
on May 14, 2014 at 12:05 pm

It doesn't look like he said anything at all about the purpose of sex between unmarried people. The quote doesn't speak to that. Why put words, especially hateful ones, into his mouth?

As to the original question, what is the purpose of sex, I'm curious why we would assume it has an overarching or defining purpose at all, instead of uses, manifestations, benefits.... Why ONE purpose? Doesn't that assume there's someone in a position to determine that for everyone?

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Posted by CrescentParkAnon., a resident of Crescent Park,
on May 14, 2014 at 9:42 pm

"Why Is Sex Fun?: The Evolution Of Human Sexuality" buy Dr. Jared Diamond, author of "Guns, Germs And Steel" and "Collapse"

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Posted by neighbor, a resident of Stanford,
on May 15, 2014 at 12:37 pm

I think the purpose of human sex is the physical expression of the mind, which creates an infinite number of responses and approaches and expectations.
Marriage, religious beliefs, same or different sex are all based in current societal dictates, nothing to do with the pure "purpose" of sex.

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Posted by Ron, a resident of Waverly Park,
on May 15, 2014 at 4:05 pm

"So unmarried people are incapable of love?" Where did the Archbishop say that? All he talked about was sex in marriage. He basically did not address sex between unmarried people. Since he is going to speak on behalf of the church, I would not expect him to get into the rest of it.

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Posted by Meaningless question, a resident of Crescent Park,
on May 15, 2014 at 10:01 pm

The question has no meaning. Churches took over the rules about sex so that's what people parrot. Religions want things to have a purpose. There's no one forcing you to go along with it.
Purpose of an intrinsic part of all living creatures? What is the "purpose" of eating? of sleeping?

And a woman asked a man about the purpose of sex. Hasn't she noticed men and women are quite different? How ridiculous can things get.

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Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on May 16, 2014 at 8:55 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

I've noticed that sex has different purposes at different times for people, and varies a lot. For example (in no particular order): love and care, pleasure, stress-relief, please one's partner, get pregnant, emotional connection, spiritual reasons, power, duty, fun, playfulness, to say "Yes" to life after a death or close brush with death, boredom, horny, part of a romantic date, one-night stand, friends with benefits, lifestyle, and . . .

Sorry, but further commenting on this topic has been closed.

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