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Couple's Net

By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and have lived in and around Palo Alto since 1969. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background i...  (More)

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If You Don't Ask, S/he Can't Say "Yes"

Uploaded: Oct 11, 2013
True story. An attractive, smart, single, working young woman ? can you say eligible, what the heck are you waiting for -- told me recently that she wishes guys would approach her and strike up a conversation.

Let's see, what do you have to lose? Maybe you're shy. Maybe you're a geek. Maybe she'll say no. Maybe he'll say no. Maybe your friends will laugh or tease you. Even at 14, my son knew, she could reject you. You've been rejected before? Yup, me, too. That's humiliating, huh?

Maybe she'll say yes. Maybe he'll say yes. Maybe you'll have someone to go to listen to music with, watch movies with . . .. Maybe you'll find out s/he's not like the last person you dated. Who knows, if you don't ask?

Here's the scoop. Get up off that chair/stool/bench/whatever safe place you're parked, and go take a chance ? at your own happiness.

If you don't ask, s/he can't say "Yes!"


 +  Like this comment
Posted by Marian, a resident of Duveneck/St. Francis,
on Oct 17, 2013 at 12:30 pm

I just watched the movie "Something Borrowed", and it touches on this very subject. The sad part is that if you are reflective, you'll realize how missed opportunities become regrets later in life. I highly recommend this to twenty-somethings, although it's never too late to ask for what your really want in life.

 +  Like this comment
Posted by Chandrama Anderson, a Mountain View Online blogger,
on Oct 18, 2013 at 9:11 am

Chandrama Anderson is a registered user.

I would rather work through feelings of rejection or humiliation or recognize that I have learning to do, than to have regrets.

This may be why the idea of "bucket lists" has become so popular. What are a couple of things you would put in your bucket list?

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